Whether you’re going back to work after maternity leave or going back to work after being a stay at home mum, chances are you’re feeling a whole range of emotions about the transition. Not just for your little one but for you too!I wanted to share with you 5 ways you can make going back to work as a mum easier on the whole family, using my decades of experience working with families and their little angels.
1) Handover To Child-Care
When someone else is looking after your little one on a more regular basis, especially the first few times, it’s common to think of aspects of care that you’ve forgotten to mention multiple times throughout the day! Little things such as, how does baby like to be put to bed or that your toddler likes his sandwiches cut into dinosaur shapes that, whilst they don’t make much difference in the long run, are factors that you know will make your little one feel more at home. Make yourself a list of these things over the week or two before your child goes to child-care for the first time, this way you can pass over a simple document to your care provider and offer yourself peace of mind. Not sure what to include in your handover? There is a template included in our back to work guide here.
2) Pre-Arranged Updates Where Possible
The temptation to constantly check our phones and emails can often be big at the best of times, however, if you’re back at work without your little one for the first time in a long time then that temptation is going to be strong. Whilst your employer will likely be understanding of this transitional period, it will be easier to not be glued to your personal screens if you have pre-arranged with child-care when they will contact you with little updates that aren’t an emergency. It also helps if, for instance, you’re in a meeting and you see an email flash up from nursery. Luckily, you’re already aware that they were planning to send an email at 2 pm so you don’t feel the need to lunge at your phone.
3)|Which Child-Care Option Is The Best?
There are so many more child-care options available than there have been in previous years and it’s important to carefully consider not only what works best for you in terms of convenience but which environment your little one will thrive in the most. Talk to other parents in your area if you can and ask for recommendations (even if it’s strangers in a local Facebook group) and if at all possible request settling-in sessions – even if it’s with a relative or friend. That way not only will they feel more settled but you’ll hopefully be more reassured they are okay on your first day back at work. A full breakdown of the pros and cons of child-care providers and things to consider in our bigger guide.
4) How To Calm First Day Nerves?
Both you and your child might be feeling nervous about your first day at work, childcare or school. Firstly, you must try not to pass your feelings of anxiety onto the child, try to phrase everything positively for the both of you. Such as, ‘What are you most excited about for your first day? Mummy is excited about seeing her work friends, how about you?’. You can also try some breathing exercises, if you’re doing this with your child we recommend suggesting you both take a deep breath whilst thinking about any of your worries and then blow them away when you breathe out.
5) Getting Over Mum Guilt
Mum Guilt gets all mothers at some point during their child’s lives and a common flair up for these feelings is going back to work and placing them in the care of someone else. A key milestone in helping yourself work through the feelings of guilt is to revisit your values, as detailed in this Harvard study. Think about the reasons behind your return to work and the values you are looking to instil in your child.
A helpful exercise is to remind yourself of these in moments of doubt “I’m returning to work to financially support our family”, “I’m returning to work to role-model a good work ethic to my children” or similar.
If you’re worried about returning to work or need some extra support to build your confidence so you can feel comfortable returning, you aren’t alone and I have more advice available to you. For a bargain price of just £14.99 you can get my guide which provides a breakdown of all aspects of returning to work as a mum. From a detailed analysis of different childcare options; to helping your little one transition to childcare; to helping yourself return to the working environment, I’ve got you covered. Check out my new guide here or contact me for more information.
If you have any suggestions of your own please suggest them in the comments.
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