What Can You Do to Help Your Baby with Separation Anxiety?

Understanding what causes separation anxiety in children can help you support your baby through this stage. By starting small, creating a goodbye routine, staying calm and positive, and encouraging bonding with other caregivers, you can help your baby develop a sense of security and independence that will benefit them throughout their life.

Start Small:

Practice leaving your baby with other caregivers for short periods, gradually increasing the amount of time you spend apart. This will help your baby get used to being away from you and will build their confidence and independence.

Create a Goodbye Routine:

Develop a predictable and consistent goodbye routine that helps your baby understand that you will always come back. This can include saying goodbye with a hug and a kiss or leaving a special item, such as a blanket or a toy, with your baby. Learn more about routines in our detailed age-specific sleep guides here.

Stay Calm and Positive:

Your baby can sense when you’re anxious or upset, which can make separation anxiety worse. Stay calm and positive when leaving your baby with other caregivers, and reassure your baby that you will return.

Encourage Bonding with Other Caregivers:

Encouraging your baby to bond with other caregivers, such as grandparents or babysitters, can help them feel more secure when you’re not around. This can include spending time with other caregivers while you’re present, so your baby can get used to being with them.

Use Distractions:

Before leaving your baby, provide them with a fun activity or toy that will keep them occupied and distracted while you’re away. This can help your baby associate your absence with positive experiences and can make the separation easier for both of you.

Stick to a Routine:

Establishing a consistent routine can help your baby.

Draw or Lipstick Kiss on Their Hand:

Before your baby goes to sleep, draw or put a lipstick kiss on their hand and tell them to kiss it when they feel lonely. This will help your child feel connected to you even when you’re not around.

Give Them a Soft Toy to look after:

Giving your baby a soft toy to look after can be a great distraction when you’re not around. Your baby will feel less lonely and more responsible for looking after their toy.

Give Them an Item of Your Clothing:

Giving your baby an item of your clothing to sleep with can provide comfort and familiarity, as it will smell like you. This can help your baby feel more secure and less anxious when you’re not around. Make sure to follow safe sleep advice and don’t leave any loose items in the cot for babies under one.

Create a Social Story Book:

Make a book with pictures of your baby, their caregivers, and family members to create a story about your baby’s day. Include their activities, the people they interact with, and their bedtime routine. You can also add comforting phrases or messages that can help them feel loved and cared for even when you’re not around.

Establish a Bedtime Routine:

A consistent bedtime routine can help your baby feel more relaxed and comfortable at bedtime. Incorporate activities such as reading the social storybook together, singing lullabies, or playing calming music. Additionally, you can create a relaxing environment by dimming the lights and using a white noise machine. This routine can also help your baby feel more connected and secure, making it easier for them to fall asleep.

Play Peekaboo Games:

Peekaboo games can help your baby understand that even when you’re not visible, you’re still there. You can play peekaboo by covering your face with your hands or a blanket and then revealing yourself, saying “Peekaboo!” This can help your baby learn that people can disappear and reappear, but they always come back.

Love Bombing:

Spend quality time with your baby and give them lots of attention and affection when you’re together. This can help them feel loved and secure, even when you’re not physically present. Some ways to love bomb your baby include playing with them, reading to them, cuddling, and singing to them.