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Why Do Babies Experience Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety is a completely normal and healthy part of your baby’s development. In fact, it often shows that your baby has formed a secure attachment to you, which is a wonderful sign, even if the clinginess can feel tough in the moment. Understanding why it happens can help you respond calmly and gently as you work to prevent separation anxiety in babies from becoming overwhelming.
1. Growing awareness of object permanence
As your baby’s brain develops, they begin to understand that people and objects continue to exist even when they’re out of sight. This discovery is exciting, but also confusing. A simple way to see this in action is to hide a small toy under a cup, if your baby lifts the cup to find it, they’re demonstrating object permanence. By around 8 – 12 months, this understanding becomes more consistent, as shown in study on infant cognitive development Simply Psychology. With this new awareness comes the worry that when you leave the room, you might not come back
2. Increased sensitivity toward unfamiliar people
Between 6 – 12 months, many babies start showing what’s known as stranger awareness. They may cling to you or become uneasy around people they don’t recognise, handing them to a new caregiver can feel especially challenging because your baby isn’t yet confident you’ll return. This pattern is backed by longitudinal research tracking “stranger fear” trajectories in infancy PMC Study.
3. Big leaps in physical independence
As babies learn to crawl, stand, and explore more freely, they face a mix of excitement and uncertainty. Moving away from you physically can feel both empowering and scary. This push-and-pull of independence often intensifies separation anxiety during this stage.
4. How can Separation Anxiety in Babies Affect Sleep
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Your baby becomes fussy or cries when you enter or leave the room.
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Around 8 months, your baby may only settle for sleep while being held, as they may also be going through the 8-month sleep regression.
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At 12 months, naps or bedtime can trigger crying when being laid down or when you step away.
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By 18 months, your child may take shorter naps or struggle to fall asleep independently.
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Around 2 years old, night wakings may increase, even if sleep was previously steady.
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Your toddler may resist bedtime more than usual, showing frustration or anxiety.
These behaviours are normal developmental responses and usually improve with consistent routines and gentle reassurance.
Want to support your little one’s developoment and sleep while they explore the world? Check our sleep guides here.
5 Top Tips on How to Prevent Separation Anxiety in Babies
Now that you understand why separation anxiety happens, here are effective, nurturing ways of how to prevent separation anxiety in babies:
1. Build Predictable Daily Routines
Babies feel safest when they know what to expect. Consistent nap times, feeding times, bedtime routines, and even predictable goodbye rituals help create stability.
How it helps:
Predictability reduces stress and builds a strong sense of security, making separations smoother.
2. Practice Short, Positive Separations
Start small. Step out of the room for a minute, leave your baby with a trusted caregiver briefly, or practice short daycare drop-offs.
How it helps:
Gradual exposure teaches your baby that you always come back, which is key to helping prevent separation anxiety in babies over time.
3. Use a Calm, Confident Goodbye Ritual
Your baby takes cues from your emotions. A warm, consistent goodbye like a hug, phrase, or gentle wave can reassure them that they’re safe.
Avoid sneaking out, as it can undermine your baby’s trust and increase anxiety over time.
4. Offer a Comfort Item
A familiar blanket, soft toy, or piece of your clothing can help your baby feel secure when you leave.
How it helps:
Transitional objects remind your baby of you and reduce stress during separations.
5. Encourage Independent Play
Set up safe spaces where your baby can play and explore on their own while you stay nearby. Even a few minutes a day builds confidence.
How it helps:
Independent play helps your baby learn that they can enjoy and explore the world without being in constant physical contact with you
If you’d like tailored support to build calm, predictable routines and ease separation anxiety to help prevent separation anxiety in babies, explore our tailored one-on-one services here.
The Reassuring Truth
Even though separation anxiety can feel challenging, it’s a normal and temporary stage. It’s actually a sign that your baby feels connected to you and trusts you deeply. With calm reassurance, consistent routines, and small steps toward independence, you can help prevent separation anxiety in babies from becoming overwhelming. Over time, your little one will gain the confidence they need to handle separations including sleep more easily.
For guidance on separation anxiety in older children, check out our full guide here: Separation Anxiety in Children.
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